Acceptable or Taboo: Shifts in Sexual Practices Pt. 1

When it comes to sexual practices, sexual identity, and the consequences of expression, that which is considered normal is usually dictated by time, place, person, and situation. When we look in the rearview mirror of human sexuality, I think any one of us will feel some variation of envy or disgust and everything in between.

It's the Goldilocks problem. In the timeless tale of Goldilocks and the Three Bears, Goldilocks encounters three bowls of porridge: one too hot, one too cold, and one just right. Similarly, sexual norms across cultures often resemble this narrative, with very few societies achieving the elusive "just right" balance.

Just as Goldilocks seeks the perfect porridge temperature, societies navigate a delicate balance in determining what is considered acceptable in matters of sexuality. Some cultures lean towards strict conservatism, stifling individual expression and enforcing rigid moral codes that may repress natural desires. Others swing to the opposite extreme, embracing total permissiveness, which can lead to exploitation, harm, and societal discord.

So in this blog post, I want to look at two lists. One that examines sexual practices considered somewhat normal by today's standards that would have been taboo in the past. And conversely, one that examines sexual practices that used to be normal in the past that would be problematic if you were to be caught in the act today.

NOTE: I am going to try and avoid cross-cultural examinations here. As a Hispanic-American female, I may not be entirely qualified to comment on certain practices without some cultural competency.

These practices used to be normal but are now (mostly) big no-no's.

Arranged Marriages

Throughout history, arranged marriages were the norm in many cultures, with little to no input from the individuals involved. Arranged marriages often served as a means of maintaining social cohesion and stability by reinforcing familial and community ties. Marriages were not just unions between individuals but also alliances between families, tribes, or social groups, which helped ensure mutual support and cooperation. Families would often arrange marriages based on factors such as wealth, land ownership, or social standing, with the expectation that the union would benefit both parties financially. Marrying within one's social or cultural group helped maintain distinct cultural identities and prevent assimilation into other groups.

One of the primary criticisms of arranged marriages is the lack of autonomy and personal agency for the individuals involved. Forced or coerced marriages can result in unhappiness, resentment, and even abuse, as individuals may feel trapped in unions they did not choose. Women, in particular, may have had limited say in their marital prospects and faced greater social and economic dependence on their husbands. Arranged marriages do not always ensure compatibility between partners in terms of personalities, values, or interests. This can lead to marital discord, dissatisfaction, and even divorce if the couple is unable to forge a meaningful connection. Thankfully, increased urbanization, education, and individualism have contributed to a shift towards more autonomous mate selection based on personal preferences and compatibility. Many countries have also enacted laws to protect individuals from forced or underage marriages, recognizing them as human rights violations. Overall, while arranged marriages served specific social and cultural functions in the past, there is a greater emphasis on personal choice, consent, and mutual compatibility in romantic relationships.

Polygamy

In various ancient civilizations, polygamous relationships were common, with men often having multiple wives. Wealthier or more powerful men could support multiple wives and their children, thereby strengthening familial and community bonds. This arrangement also provided financial security and social status for women and their offspring. Polygamy was sometimes practiced in societies where high fertility rates and large families were valued. Having multiple wives allowed men to father more children, which was advantageous for agricultural societies or communities with high infant mortality rates. In agricultural or pastoral societies, polygamy could facilitate the division of labor within households. With multiple wives, men could delegate tasks such as childcare, cooking, and agricultural work, leading to greater efficiency in household management and economic productivity. Marrying into multiple families could strengthen political, social, or economic ties, contributing to peace, cooperation, and mutual support among communities. Polygamy has been sanctioned or even mandated in some religious and cultural traditions, where it is seen as a sacred or honorable practice.

However, polygamy often perpetuates gender inequalities by granting men greater rights and privileges than women. Multiple wives may compete for the attention and resources of a single husband, leading to unequal power dynamics and emotional distress. As such, polygamous relationships can be fraught with jealousy, rivalry, and interpersonal conflict among spouses. Unequal treatment, favoritism, and feelings of insecurity may arise, leading to marital discord and instability. Supporting multiple wives and children can strain a man's financial resources, leading to economic hardship and instability within polygamous households. Many countries have outlawed polygamy or placed restrictions on its practice, citing concerns about gender equality, human rights, and social cohesion. Increasing emphasis on individual autonomy, personal choice, and gender equality has led to a shift away from traditional polygamous norms. Modern societies prioritize consent, mutual respect, and emotional fulfillment in romantic relationships, which may be incompatible with the hierarchical and patriarchal dynamics of polygamy. Today, there is greater recognition of the importance of individual autonomy, consent, and egalitarianism in romantic relationships, shaping contemporary views on marriage and family structure. This practice has largely been replaced by monogamy and ethical non-monogamy in many societies.

Concubinage

Concubinage, the practice of maintaining a woman in a socially recognized relationship with a man but not as his wife, has a long history in various cultures around the world. In some societies, having concubines was a symbol of wealth, power, and social status for men. The ability to maintain multiple women as concubines signaled a man's affluence and influence within his community. By taking concubines from other powerful families or ethnic groups, rulers could solidify alliances and promote peace and stability within their realm.

1. Male Sexual Gratification: Concubinage provided men with additional sexual partners and opportunities for physical intimacy outside of marriage. In societies where monogamy was the norm, having concubines offered an outlet for male sexual desires and fantasies.

2. Fertility and Procreation: Concubines were often expected to bear children for their male partners, thereby contributing to the continuity of family lineage and inheritance. In societies where fertility and patrilineal descent were highly valued, concubinage played a role in ensuring the succession of male heirs.

3. Economic and Domestic Support: Concubines could provide domestic and caregiving services to their male partners, including cooking, cleaning, and childcare. This allowed men to focus on their public or professional responsibilities while their concubines managed household affairs. However, despite these perceived benefits, concubinage has faced criticism and decline in many societies due to several factors:

4. Gender Inequality: Concubinage perpetuates gender inequalities by granting men greater rights and privileges than women. Concubines typically had lower social status and fewer legal rights than wives, often lacking autonomy and agency within their relationships.

5. Exploitation and Abuse: Concubines were vulnerable to exploitation, mistreatment, and abuse by their male partners. They lacked the legal protections and social support systems afforded to wives, making them susceptible to coercion, violence, and neglect.

6. Social Stigma: Concubinage was often stigmatized by religious authorities, moralists, and reformers who viewed it as immoral, unethical, or contrary to family values. Public opinion and cultural norms shifted over time, leading to increased condemnation and social ostracism of men who maintained concubines.

7. Legal Reforms: Many countries have enacted laws to abolish or regulate concubinage, recognizing it as a form of exploitation or gender-based discrimination. Legal prohibitions, along with changing societal attitudes, have contributed to a decline in the prevalence of concubinage in many parts of the world.

Overall, while concubinage served specific social, political, and personal functions in certain historical contexts, changing norms, legal reforms, and evolving attitudes toward gender equality have led to a decline in its acceptance and prevalence in modern societies. Today, there is greater emphasis on individual autonomy, consent, and egalitarianism in romantic relationships, shaping contemporary views on marriage and family structure.

1. Foot Binding: In China, foot binding was practiced for centuries as a symbol of beauty and social status, despite its harmful effects on women's health. It has been eradicated due to changing beauty standards and increased awareness of its consequences.

2. Trial Marriages: In medieval Europe, couples could engage in a trial marriage, where they lived together for a period before deciding to commit to a permanent union. This practice has largely been replaced by dating and cohabitation.

3. Public Executions of Adulterers: In some societies, adultery was punishable by death, often carried out publicly. Today, legal systems generally do not condone such extreme punishments for infidelity.

4. Virginity Tests: In various cultures, including ancient Greece and parts of the Middle East, virginity tests were conducted to assess a woman's purity before marriage. Such invasive practices are now widely condemned.

5. Marrying Young: In many historical periods, it was common for individuals to marry at a very young age, sometimes even in childhood. Today, there are legal restrictions and societal norms against child marriage.

6. Male Homosociality: In certain historical contexts, close physical affection between men, such as holding hands or sharing a bed, was socially acceptable and not necessarily viewed as romantic or sexual.

7. Legal Marital Rape: Until relatively recently, many legal systems did not recognize marital rape as a crime, reflecting the belief that a spouse's consent was implicit in marriage. Today, marital rape is universally condemned and criminalized in many countries.